Monday, 14 September 2015


I am currently working on a romance novel featuring a sexually abused girl, who learns to come to terms with her past, and gains a hope for her future. Keep your eyes peeled; it’ll be released soon.

But it got me thinking about childhood.

There are so many ways adults harm children, from physical to mental abuse, or indeed just by sheer neglect.

As an adult, I hear so many cries of, “it’s because … happened when I was a child!”

Really? 20 years later you’re still harping on?? When are you going to take ownership of your life?

I’m not being unnecessarily cruel with this. In fact, I am trying to empower people.

I could rattle off several horror stories from my own childhood. And I could sit here moaning about it. But what good would it achieve?

I’ve grown so much as a person over the years. I am now able to stand back from a distance and say, “Yeah, bad shit happened. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody. But you know what? I’m not going to regret it anymore. I can’t change what happened, but I can change how it affects my future. I refuse to let that person hurt me any further. Bad stuff happened to me, but it doesn’t make me a bad person. It wasn’t my fault. And it’s made me the person I am today; strong, independent and determined.”

One of the points I touch on in Broken & Damaged love is a simple word; victim.

My own breakthrough happened because I changed the word from victim to survivor.

No longer was I a disempowered, frightened young girl! I was now someone brave and tough, who had come out the other side of an ordeal.

I hate the word victim; it saps all your energy and makes you feel weak. It also tries to simperingly plead for sympathy.

But survivor shows a super hero with a flowing cape; someone who overcame all the odds and triumphed over adversity.

I learned to be grateful for my experiences. Yes I said grateful. Yes, I am aware that sounds weird. But t those experiences gave me insight, and have helped me to help many others along my life’s path. And I truly hope my latest release goes on to help many more still.

We are all products of our childhood. But as adults we can choose how we move forwards with our lives. Take ownership and control. Take those negatives and use it for good. Instead of pitying ourselves we can help others who are going through what we once did.

Everyone has a story!

As we go through life we should be aware we are not alone, we are never the first to suffer from something. So how’s about showing kindness and respect to everyone else we meet? They may well have been hurt too.
As the Dalai Lama says, “Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.”

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