Oh sweet distractions. We've all done it, right?
Please tell me it's not just me.
I have all this wonderful sweet sweet time. I used to dream of this; the availability to write full time.
I actually 'won' NaNoWriMo in November; over 50,000 words in just one month.
I know I can do it!
But then a bad back, Christmas, flu etc. got in my way.
But last week I finally managed to finish draft 1 of my work in progress.
The dreaded 'editing' looms like a loomy thing in loomy town.
Actually, I normally quite like it; shaping and molding my little booky wook.
But what have I done?
Bugger all this week!!
- Monday I had to rest thanks to a rare migraine overnight.
- Tuesday I went out with my mother-in-law; it's a public service she provides for me. It means I get a little fresh air from time to time.
- Wednesday I was prepping for a photoshoot (this includes shaving, waxing, bathing). But then I saw the leak in the roof had started up again, worse than before the repair. A minor hissy fit may have ensued.
- Today is Thursday and I've waited around for the roofers to come back and fix what they fixed before, and social media'd as it's easier to pick up and put down.
- And now I've started organising a group promo for my folks in the Facebook group Indie Coffee Lounge Ooh yes, muchly organising must be done. Yes, even writing this very blog post can be added to my list of important stuffs I simply must do.
What am I doing? Really? I'm procrastinating.
Come one, I've not been so busy all week I couldn't have found the time to do some editing.
But I've wriggled out of facing it. This is my confession.
I know why too.
I am suffering The Fear.
The fear that I will start going back through all that hard work and decide it's total tripe and will never be good enough to publish.
This is what it looks like in my head. I'm still that little girl. I fear the pointy fingers of derision. The ones which tell me I'm crap, and not worthy. That I'll never achieve anything. Just not good enough.
Time to tell them to fuck off!!! (excuse my potty mouth)
No. Bollocks. I'm not apologising. Sneer and jeer all you want at my naughty words. They're my words and what I feel and no pointy fingered people are going to dissuade me from venting my spleen!
Piss off pointy fingers.
I am a grown woman.
I am an author. I have 7 books out, all of which have some lovely reviews.
I CAN and I WILL do this.
So boo yar shucks (*pokes out tongue*)
Hear me roar.
(ooh, scared myself a little bit then)
Ah, that feels betterer.
Tomorrow I will dedicate the whole day to editing. Because I can.
And you can too xx
Always in love & light,
To view my selection of lovely books which I've successfully published please go here