Tuesday, 22 September 2015

You've been living your life wrong


Yes, this blog post follows all those fad infomercials which tells us brand new ways of doing things.

First, you need to acknowledge the bricks and mortar you live in are in fact a prison. They are the chains which bind you.

 
You should free yourself of these shackles and go live outdoors. The woods is a good place; it provides shelter. This also has the added benefit of relieving you of the obligation of going to work for a company.
But it does get a bit chilly so you may want to grow an extra layer of fat, and preferably some sort of fur.


Now, food may be an issue. Mother Earth is generous in her bounty. There are many plants and berries to eat. And being upright huts your back, so what you want to do is grow longer front legs and a nice long neck. And maybe a snout so you can hoover up all the yummy food which is just lying about.

Security could become an issue. You will want to grow yourself a nice big pair of ears to listen out for others who may be after your food. And grow your eyes on the side of your head too.
Whilst you’re at it, a dual purpose horn (great for defense and magick), and a nice swishy tail to get rid of pesky flies.
Yes, you should live your life as a unicorn!! How cool would that be?
 
*Please note that this lifestyle requires remodeeling of your internal organs and endocrine system*
Hahaha; a magickal silly moment from this author who needed to smile today!
 
Love & light all.