Author Dreamed of the Highlife - but remained Earth bound

I'm going to start by saying I totally nicked this idea from Angeline Trevena, who wrote an awesome article on her blog last week, about her own dream job.

Well, it may come as no surprise to discover yours truly has always had her head in the clouds.
From the age of about six, my dream job was to be an Air Hostess (as it was called then).
It was shortly after this ambition formed that I developed air sickness, on an extremely turbulent flight to New York. I was one of the last to be ill on the plane, but sadly, I was really young and impressionable and the association stuck with me.

Undeterred by such a minor setback, I carried on through childhood and adolescence with this goal in mind.
As I progressed through college, one snobby boyfriend told me I wouldn't ever be an 'air stewardess'. He saw it as menial work. I saw it as glamorous, and a way to travel the world, to set myself free.

I studied Leisure & Tourism at college, obtained an 'A' grade in my German GCSE, and also passed French. I learned the NATO phonetic alphabet, got a Saturday job in a travel agency. You name it, everything I could lay my young hands on to enhance my chances at achieving my dream, I grabbed it.

However, whilst I was studying I met the man who would become husband number one.
As I prepared to apply for a summer job at EuroDisney, he uttered the words, "I don't know if our relationship could survive if we were apart that long."

For years, I had repeated my mantra "Nothing is going to stop me."
Guess what, something did.
Yep, husband number one actually managed, somehow, to stop me even applying for my dream job.
I was being stupid anyway. I got airsick. My planned hypnotherapy to overcome that was expensive, and may not work. And why did I want to leave home when I was setting one up with my man?

It took many years for me to realise that relationship was failing.
And a few more for me to appreciate the effect it was having on my mental health.

Once I set myself free and got myself sorted, I thought it was time I tried.
I had drifted from job-to-job, never finding career satisfaction. Nothing matched up to my airline vision.

So, I applied for a job with British Airways. I even scored an interview.
But oh so much pressure had built up. So much hinged on that day. And the day was gruelling.
I didn't stand much of a chance. I was, by now, too old and too fat.
It was the...worst...interview...ever!
I managed to reach up to the required height easily enough, and navigated my way through the written test. But then came the role play. I hate role play! But that wasn't the worst.

Imagine yourself in a tatty, dim room with two women. One of whom is a complete harridan with NO facial expression whatsoever. None. Not scowling, not smiling. Completely impassive.
Now, said harridan asks you many interview questions.
It's fine, you've attended many interviews before. You've had practice.
Only, when she asks them there seems to be a hidden meaning.
You start to panic.
Suddenly, you think it's really funny to add, "and because I don't suit red," to your response to the question 'Why do you want to work for BA?'.
OMG, I think an actual tumbleweed blew past. You heard of a deathly silence? Yeah, this was one of those.

I waited for what felt like an eternity, but I finally got the rejection email.
It shouldn't have been a surprise, but I was absolutely devastated. And I mean that in its full sense.
A TL shaped puddle was all that was left.
There were wails of pain and anguish. Roars burst from my throat, directed to the skies.
Why? Why after all this time, after all I'd been through, was I still not able to fulfil my destiny?
It was too cruel.
How much misery is one supposed to endure?
This was indeed the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.

Funny part coming up. Phew!

Now, I'm not particularly religious. But in that moment I made a bargain with God, the angels, whichever good deity wished to listen...
"If I don't win the lottery this weekend I will use the emergency exit. I will end my life."
I deeply meant it, from the bottom of my heart to the top of my soul.
I'd been through hell all my life, and wasn't prepared to go through more.
So, what happened? I won £10!
Not exactly the jackpot I was aiming for, and I could hear my angel chuckling. Smug git!
A deal's a deal, right? I honoured it (obviously).

And you know what?
Being a 'hostie' wasn't part of my plan.
It's a far different job now from what it was when I set my goal.
I wouldn't really want it now.
I can look up at the sky on a stormy day, and thank the Powers that I'm not in a bumpy plane.

Fate had a very different path in mind for me.
And I'm still walking down it.

Sometimes, we can make plans. And those plans don't work out the way we thought they would.
But it's OK.
Everything is exactly as it should be.
Sometimes, you just need to go with the flow.
New adventures are just around the bend.


Phew! That was a bit serious, huh? Thanks for sticking with me.
Maybe you know a bit more about me now.
It felt important to share that story, so I did.

Always in love and light,

TL