Technology - Love it or Loathe it

This blog topic is inspired by my loss of access to this beloved blog for 10 days!

I’m of an age where I can remember life before iPhones, CDs, portable computers; let’s just say pre 24/7 jacked in. fyi this historic/ancient period is featured in my book Rekindled Love. I consider it an education to "da yoof, innit" ;-)

These days you send an email and expect a response almost immediately. When did this happen?

Not so very long ago we sent letters via “snail mail”. One found a nice piece of writing paper, thought about what message you wished to convey, and carefully constructed a wonderful piece of communication. You’d then wander (not very far) to a nearby post box and send said letter. In a day or two it would reach the recipient, and a few days later you could expect a response.

With the popularisation of computers and therefore email, this long wait has been eradicated. This, on the surface, seems a good thing.

However, particularly on social media the temptation to put out every thought (or details of every bowel movement of your newly arrived child for some) is now too great. We end up filling our walls and newsfeeds with what is, let’s face it, mindless drivel.

I have read some very good books by Ben Elton, but his scary version of a future where everyone is obliged to post every last little thing online seems to draw ever nearer.

If you watch horrendous trash TV, such as Jeremy Kyle, you cannot fail to notice how often, “but she said that he said on (social media of choice)…” is mentioned in arguments. The common gossip and mud flinging that now happens has increased.

The phenomenon that is the “troll” has emerged. Once upon a time a troll was a rather ugly fearsome creature which lived under bridges, and took pleasure in scaring people (or goats) who trip trapped over said bridge. 
These days, a troll is a cowardly person who hides behind the anonymity of the internet to torment others, often complete strangers, to try to destroy their fragile ego. 
These trolls have been cited as causing some to take their own life. A truly awful side effect of this insta-messaging. 
Can you imagine a troll taking time, effort and expense of doing the same in a letter? No. It is purely because they can infuse their poison instantly and with little effort. 
I do feel sorry for them though; their own loves must be so devoid of interest or love. It is a pity they feel so bad about themselves they find it necessary to try to demoralise others.

And as a wider spectrum, technology causes us great stress. At work, my computer often seems to take on a mind of its own, and in the middle of the office I have often been reduced to requesting my PC to ‘fornicate off’. 

The amount of people who now have access via phones to emails etc. that it has become an expectation that you still look at work emails whilst on holiday; it’s preposterous! One needs to go on holiday to relax and unwind to help us cope with the overloaded world we now live in. Give us a break!

It also fuels consumerism. We can actually live our lives now without ever stepping foot outside our own home. In theory, there are jobs where you can work from home – source of income. With that income you can then order food, clothing, items of all sorts with a click of a button and within a few days (or with Amazon’s new service, within hours) it arrives at your door. This in turn leads us to becoming more isolated and insular. We have started to become more about ‘self’ than ever.

If we have an accident, instead of shrugging it off and dusting ourselves off we have to blame someone else and sue the pants off them, as we ‘need’ more money to buy more stuff. But does this stuff makes us happier? Seemingly not, as we as a people are now unhappier than we were even 50 years ago. People were actually happier during World War 2!! It makes my heart and soul cry for our race.

However, we are also able to use this resource for good. We can use tools to help us whittle down prospective partners, and find good relationships via online dating. It saves our precious time.

But why are we so time poor now? We have many many labour saving devices, yet we are all crying out “I don’t have enough time” or “I’m too busy”.

Many of my holistic friends share their positive messages online. It reaches a wider audience. Even the wonderful man who is His Holiness the Dalai Lama is on Twitter, and puts out wonderfully inspiring messages of compassion. So there is hope.

And I myself could not be an author without the internet. I have written my books on my laptop, self-published online and indeed publicised my books on social media and varying websites (admittedly with little effect), but they are at least there. And they are not having to conform to a traditional publisher’s ideals. I can be my own person, and write in my own style. It leads to a broader spectrum of reading material, and hopeful thought flows. We can expand our own consciousness and find like-minded souls to link with and share these wonderful ideals exponentially.

Unless some mass extermination event or massive EMP goes off, we have technology. It is a massive part of our lives. If we have communication problems we suddenly feel cut off from the world, and we go into panic. As we retreat into our homes we rely on technology to reach friends (often in far flung places of the world).

So, whether you love it or loathe it (or a little of both), technology is here to stay.

You can make a difference in its application.

I think I’ve mentioned “The Universe” before – a great resource for positive thinking. But “The Universe” says “Thoughts become things, choose the good ones!”

I would ask you to bear this in mind. Please; when you use technology do so responsibly.

If you must post online, take care to post from a place of love. Share the good, and together we have a chance of reducing the bad.

Always in love and light,

TL

Where is Love?

I seem to have an Oliver (Twist) fixation at present! I shared the “Who Will Buy” YouTube link on Twitter the other day, and here I am now singing “Wheeeeere is love? Does it fall from skies above?” Have I got you ear worming yet? Yes? Good! It’s a nice song for this blog post.

So, I read Lynn Warford’s “Mutual Love and Respect: Necessities for a Happy Marriage”. It’s an interesting book. Lynn shares his many bad and one excellent relationship experiences as a cautionary tale to others. But as I read his rather stoic take on love it set me to thinking. Lynn had a definite idea of which boxes would be ticked to alert him to the fact he was in love. I am not here to judge this approach. We all have our own ideas.

My teenage self fell madly in love a few times. As an adult I look back on these times and question if indeed it was love. I feel compelled to defend the teenager and confirm yes, it was. But it was a very different kind of love.

So the question I’m really asking is what is love. Is one form of love better than any other? Well no, of course not. They’re just different.

I’ve had several people review (and give private feedback) on my book Rekindled Love. Most of the readers confess to shedding tears somewhere along their way through this novel. Why? I think it’s because it reaches a very innocent love we felt many years ago, that we hold dear and will treasure always. It was a love driven by hormonal lust. It was all-consuming and infatuated. It was as if we were engulfed in its flames. But for most of us those flames burn too fast and too bright, and sadly fizzle out and the relationship must come to an end.

As we journey through life we experience many things. These experiences change and shape us as a person. This in turn changes our perspective of life.

Confession; I have been married before. Was I in love with my first husband? Emphatically yes! I will never regret that marriage (although I may regret how it turned out). It was totally right for me at that time. 
I was in my late teens when I met him. Over the course of the following eleven years, I changed massively. My confidence levels grew, my opinions and outlook received a major readjustment. At the same time this was happening my husband was also changing, but in a different direction. We simply grew apart, and we reached a point that we were no longer compatible. So, I ask again – was this love? Absolutely, but sadly it just wasn’t sustainable.

Do we marry too young? The bridal industry seems to target the early twenty somethings. These young people are barely out of college/university. They’re just starting to step out into the big wide world. Of course we still feel deeply in love at that age, and it is no less than any other. And it’s great to have a loving hand to cling onto as we take those scary steps into adult life. Some relationships are made stronger by the fact they’ve faced these new challenges together. Some don’t.

Society dictates marriage is for life, but in today’s environment, with so many pressures and expectations is this realistic? We seem to have growing expectations (oh dear; more Dickens!); we expect to own our own home, to have nice things, to go on foreign holidays, and to live happily ever after. Hmmm…do we need to manage our expectations or our concept of marriage? It’s certainly food for thought!

My second husband and I are still happily married (and long may it continue). Having learned some valuable lessons on my life path I had a better understanding of what I did/not need as I entered this relationship. 
And my husband is an absolute superstar; he not only allows but actively encourages my personal growth and he’s my soulmate. We understand and connect with each other on a deeper soul level. Our love is greater and richer because of all that has gone before.

Getting back to my original question – where is love? And where does it come from? Does it fall from skies above (as our friend Oliver would have it)? My holistic friends have a rather lovely take on this; we are all sparks of Divine Love. 
I don’t want to apply any one religion to this thought; that’s just too much for debate for my little blog to cope with. I like the word ‘Divine’ – one can apply any deity to it, so please feel free to do so as you feel fit.

We are all created with this Divine Love, it is inherent within us. We don’t have to go looking for it, it’s already here. Isn’t that lovely?

My novels all look at love from a different angle. There are as many ways to love as there are stars in the sky. The important thing is just to remember that love exists. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. Every thought and every action you have should come from a place of love.

For today’s conclusion I would just like us all to get together in a massive eHug please.

I love you all!

Always in love and light,

TL