Friday 17 August 2018

The Art of Self Love

Image c/o Princess Sassypants

I wanted to explore self-love a little more here.
Yes, I have a novel of that name coming out, but when I started to look at the hashtags, I began to get concerned. Not because of smutty images; do get that mind out of the gutter, please. No, because I fear it may be being misinterpreted.

Self-love is about self-care.
Simple as that really.
Valuing yourself, making sure you're OK.

When we seek outside validation for how we look, this is NOT self-love.
In fact, it could be quite the reverse.

My background; I had started my Reiki training, but changed tutors. My new Reiki Master asked us all in level 2 if we'd been doing self-Reiki. We all shook our heads.
"No, that's for my clients," I explained when asked.
As holistic therapists and spiritual people, we all put others first. That's what lovely people do, isn't it?
Wrong!
Let me tell you what she told us. "You cannot pour from an empty cup."
Oh!
This really struck a chord with me.
So, to help others best I need to be at my best? Well, yeah. If I'm not vibrating at my highest energy then I'm not going to channel as much for others.

This does not just apply to Reiki, please don't worry about that.
But when you are happy are you not more inclined to help others too?
If you are sad you require assistance, and that's absolutely fine. But you're not in the best place to help others.

When I was a counsellor, I went for what is called 'supervision'. It's a kind of counselling for counsellors. We would discuss if anything had pressed our buttons; if we needed to discuss anything that had come up for us. It ensures the counsellor is not adversely affected, and is able to help others without their own stuff interfering.

That may all be well and good, but maybe you're now wondering what on Earth I'm talking about with vibrations (it does NOT include batteries btw 😉), or thinking you don't want to go for counselling. Well, you don't have to! (but please do seek help if you need it)

Self-love, as I said, is as simple as self-care.
Perhaps you're a highly driven career person, desperately trying to keep up with chores etc. when you get home.
You may be a busy mum/dad, running around, putting your precious poppets first. They demand this attention, after all.
"I don't have time," you may tell me.
Bollocks!

OK, so this quote drives the point home, but is a little bit terrifying too.
I'm not going to tell you to meditate for an hour, unless you want to.
I just want to encourage you to make time.
Even if it's once the kids are in bed, and you manage to go to the loo in peace for ten whole minutes. Light some candles (they help with the smell 😃) and read a book whilst you're there.

Better yet, take a hot bubble bath. This is one of my favourite ways to relax. Candles, music, perhaps a drop of wine, time to myself as I soak in suds; bliss!
But there's so many ways you can practice self-love.
  • Take a walk; find some trees to wander around. 
  • Eat healthily. Drink more water. 
  • Get some exercise.
  • Breathe in the aroma of your coffee and relish that cup. 
  • When you go to bed, close your eyes, and let your thoughts wander without dwelling on problems before you sleep.
  • Hell, just brush your hair and put on clothes that make you feel good. 
*see womenwithsparkle on Instagram for weekly inspiration/reminders to sparkle up.
And/or follow princesssassypants on Facebook for happy pictures.
Or, you know, just look at cat pictures.

You will find a mini-version of my self-talk talk on YouTube and my IGTV

And my Writer's Block blog post includes further useful links, including to my meditations on InsightTimer.

The important thing is YOU do something for YOU!  

We have been conditioned to think selfishness is bad. "You should not be all about you."
You should still be compassionate and think of others. But NOT to the exclusion of yourself!
Take care of you, and you can better take care of others.


Self-love is self-care.
It is NOT selfish. Is IS essential! 

Got it? Good!


Always in love and light,

TL


Should you wish to read my novel where Molly goes through personal growth whilst shrinking, you can find Self Love on all good ereaders (and in paperback).












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