PONDERINGS - COVID 19; the elephant in the room & what we've been doing to cope

As a writer with a blog, it feels wrong not to write a post about this surreal time. Surreal - my most common word lately.
So, shall we talk about the elephant in the room..?
Yep, I'm thinking COVID-19 and lockdown. Hitherto referenced as The Thing Which Shan't Be Named - I'm treating it like Voldemort 😉
But before you run away in horror, my intention is to be more positive in this post.

We have been in what is commonly referred to as lockdown in the UK for 4 weeks now.
Now, like I said, I'm trying to be positive, yet I'm not going to shy away either; it was tough at first!

1) I felt The Fear - it was all big and scary. The media was constantly harping on about it. It felt like the apocalypse had begun; we were all going to die.
The Thing Which Shan't Be Named swept through the world. Country by country was infected - a sort of domino effect.
2) I'm used to my own space and routine, and yet very soon Hubby's work decided as he had to go to London a lot, he was not so much of a key worker after all, and furloughed him. Is it just me or does that sound like he's now a furrowed field?? LOL
3) Our finances took a hit. Hubby has had to take a pay cut so he has a job to go back to. Me? My temp jobs aren't coming in, yet I'm not eligible for the government's assistance. And my book sales nosedived. Ouch!

It was an adjustment, make no mistake.
Firstly, I stopped watching news and daytime tele - I just couldn't handle it. Far too much scaremongering! Plus, we had the UK Chief Medical Officer on our advice adverts - take a look at that link; he made it extra scary!!
And I limit my social media interaction. I'm really sorry if you're feeling neglected by my absence - I'm not commenting as much as usual etc. But there is far too much fear, speculation, blame and anger on there for me to wade through. I try to spot the good bits, but honestly, it's too much for me.
Whilst I'm on that; please, if you have a book release/sale/news you would like me to share, please tag me or message me with a link so I can share it for you (if you're among my online social circle).

Going to the shops (for food) - a simple enough thing, became scary. Everyone was socially distanced and wandering around in a daze, wearing masks. It was like witnessing a scene from a zombie movie!

Then I accepted that we couldn't see the Steps.
Girl had come into contact with someone who came home feeling a little unwell from China. She came to our house feeling a little coldy, and we subsequently had an odd virus; we would intermittently go hot (not necessarily a high fever) and had a bit of a tickly throat. We will never know if this was a mild form of The Thing Which Shan't Be Named (*shrugs*). We got over it. Whatever!
Boy came home (to his mum) from uni with a fever too though.
So, it's been AGES since we saw them.
Girl is about to turn 17, so we're permitted visitation. But as Boy is over 18, he's not on the socially acceptable work-around 😞
I miss them!

Hubby and I gradually found our own space. Finding little moments in the day where we could do our own thing independently became important.
He usually works mega long hours, and then we have his kids here every other weekend and we spend time with his mum etc. It's highly unusual for us to spend so much time alone together in this way.

But, whilst our own space is required, so is quality couple time. So, we also try to do meaningful things together.

Like the rest of The Internet, I distracted myself with baking and cooking.
Baguettes and focaccia were very fine bread projects. Crumpets - not so much - those were actually inedible!?
I have discovered I like dal though! Who knew?? When Hubby next came home from the supermarket (being the designated shopping hero as he copes better than me), he held up a bag of lentils, saying, "I'm not saying I liked what you cooked last night..." - his sheepish grin was priceless! Needless to say, I've made it several times since.

Now, that is all very yummy 'n all, but when added to our increased snacks (also because of Stress and Boredom), our tummies were expanding a little bit too far (not fat shaming, just practically, it's unwise to expand further than one's current wardrobe permits as clothing-trying-on is not available right now).
So, we've tried increasing our jogging jaunts. Although, one day in particular, I ended up a watery mess as my hay fever (allergies) kicked in big time, and we limped home within 15mins! Oops!

There's only so many times you can stand the limited space to run around here; too many People, for a start.
It was therefore a joy - and I mean that in the deepest sense of the word - to go a bit further last week, to one of my favourite places for such activity. I was even rewarded with a plethora of bluebells in the woods 💜
And Hubby even joined me for a Pilates session one day.

Other distractions have included us learning BSL (British Sign Language), reading (of course) and me picking up my cross stitch for the eleventy-billionth time (it's taken me YEARS to get this far on this project!).
We've been trying to zhush up the garden a little too. I have a lemon plant growing from seed. The path is now weeded (thank you Hubby). And we're about to plant some vegetable seeds.
Our rhododendron is flowering in all its pink glory.
My azalea (which inspired a character in my book, Love Bites), is also blooming, sending its scent wafting across my garden. Yum!

Every Thursday evening at 20:00 we go onto our driveway, our neighbours doing likewise (whilst maintaining social distance), and clap for the NHS / carers. There's a terrific sense of community.
I was so moved after the first incident that I wrote a Facebook post on it. It was very emotional!

Oh, and I recorded several book readings. All are on my IGTV and I've started loading them onto my YouTube (but it's a bit of a faff, so it's taking a while).
And, of course, there's been book editing to do - my latest novel is almost ready! It's super hard to concentrate right now though, so is taking a little longer. Thank you for your patience.

But don't let all this talk of activity fool you. The vast majority of the time, we may be found sitting in front of our TV, watching Netflix or Disney+ (which arrived in the nick of time!). Hence the snacking.

I'm busy doing nothing!?

There have been days I've not changed out of my pyjamas; trust me. At times, I have wondered why I bother getting out of bed at all.
I get bored/frustrated/scared/tired like everyone else. We're all experiencing a lot of emotions. And that's OK.

All this is just my experience. I fully appreciate how lucky I am.
There are people not able to see their partners. Parents with young children requiring constant attention and education. People all alone. Vulnerable people feeling frightened. Others are going out to work, scared of coming into contact with The Thing Which Shan't Be Named. The thing is, we all have our own stresses. There's not a single person unaffected in some way.
This is a global pandemic - it's oddly uniting humanity in that we're all battling against this unusual foe. We're all in this together!

I have misophonia (a very odd, severely angry reaction to certain sounds). It gets worse when my sinuses are inflamed, oh, like when hay fever pipes up!?
Yeah, so, I got triggered the other morning, and went scurrying to the safety of my bed, under my duvet. A bit of a meltdown ensued. There may have been tears!
However, eventually, I remembered to breathe! Funny how we forget that simple thing occasionally!? Anyway, I took deep, healing breaths and focussed on grounding (a holistic technique thingy). I felt more calm than I had in ages afterwards!

And that's it, isn't it?
We can all feel panicked and overwhelmed, especially at the moment.
But THIS TOO SHALL PASS (one of my life mantras).
Just remember to breathe!
Self-love is more important than ever. Just do what you need to do to get through each day.
We will come through this together yet apart 💗
Keep on keeping on, my lovely.

Good things are happening too. Pollution has gone way down. Apparently, there were dolphins swimming around Venice! Our beloved planet is taking a deep, cleansing breath too.

We are finally realising the importance of those key workers - the people who are often so poorly paid. Thank you so so much if you're one of the ones still going out, keeping this country running; there are so many working behind the scenes who don't get noticed as well as those the media spotlight's shining on.


Always in love and light,
TL

REVIEW - The Fat Girl's Guide to Loving Your Body - true love

Date read: 13th February 2020

My rating: 4.5*

Genre I reckon: Self-help

Buy link: All stores

Now, you may have noticed, I've been using my blog to do the journal assignments in this book. 

There's a lot of journal entries to complete but that's the beauty of this book - it makes you actively think and assess your mindset. 

Now, there's an obvious target market - the clue's in the title. 

However, anyone with body issues can find benefit in this book, regardless of size or gender.

"It is not your job to be pretty" is a core belief here - sound advice for all, right? 

The first half gives you background of the author's journey along with advice before setting tasks for you. This is a voice of experience, people. 

The second half details daily meditations. Every single day for a year, there's a different thought for the day - something to think about or do, all aimed at helping you improve your attitude to your body and food. 

This is not "I know better because I have all these degrees" advice. No, it's far better. This is KL Montgomery sharing her experience and life knowledge with you. Open, honest truths. 

The informal language throughout is fun and feels like a friendly chat - far better than the "do this/that/the other" of a lot of self-help manuals. 

Oh, and there's swearing included, so if the f bomb offends, this may not be the book you are looking for (*waves hand in a Jedi stylee*).

There's definitely some things I will personally take from this book which will help me on my own body positive journey. 

So, if you've got a less than friendly self-dialogue going on, grab this book with both hands. 

It's even in KU as I write this - a whole year's worth of book fro free. Even at £5 it's a bargain. 

If you get the paperback, there's pages included for your journal assignments btw. 

If you do one good thing for yourself this month/year, buy this book! 

Self Talk Talks by TL Clark Go Live

Hi,

I just thought I'd write a quick blog post, alerting you to my new Self-Talk Talks.

Having given a few of these locally, I had requests from my social media followers who live in other countries. So, I've recorded a mini version so you can watch for free online. 

Head on over to YouTube or my IGTV to have a look. 

Hopefully, they're enough to give you the gist of my message. It's hard condensing all the important information into a IGTV friendly size. 

It's all too easy to be our worst enemy instead of best friend. In this talk, I look at underlying reasons and some useful ways to counteract them. As well as tips on improving self-care.

If this has whetted your appetite, perhaps you'd like to read my book, Self Love.

You can buy the paperback or ebook from Amazon and all other good online stores 

Self Love follows the misadventures of Molly as she discovers the path to personal growth is no bed of roses🌹 She could turn self-deprecation into an Olympic sport, at least until The Incident forces her to change her perspective.  

Always in love and light,

TL

WRITING TIPS - What Are Trigger Warnings? ~ Should I put a trigger warning on my book?

OMG, am I about to offend someone? Quick, put a trigger warning on it! 😲

Alright, calm down.
First, let us look at two different types of triggers.

Emotional Triggers

Someone may make a joke, but to you it hurts and can affect you, making you feel off-kilter.
You question whether the person making the joke respects you or not.

Feelings brought up can include:

• A sense of rejection
• Being left/singled out
• Disapproval

~ basically you feel inferior in some way

Reactions to this can include:

• Withdrawal
• Anger
• Self-medication (drugs/alcohol/food etc.) 
• Compliance

These are normal human reactions, and are often associated with things from your own past. It is your reaction based on previous experience, and not the fault of the person making the joke, which to everyone else is harmless. 

This does not mean in any way it is your fault either. It's just one of those less pleasant experiences of life. Good news is, there are coping mechanisms and people trained to help you with this. 

Emotional triggers are not what trigger warnings are about, as we cannot feasibly all foresee how every single person is going to react. We all have the potential to associate an infinite number of innocuous things with a negative reaction. 

Psychological Triggers

These go way beyond our feelings being trampled on (which is unpleasant enough, right?). These are so much more. 

These types of triggers can be set off with a particular sound, smell or sight which are associated with a trauma, and often cause flashbacks. Often used in conjunction with PTSD (and other anxiety conditions) , and commonly (but not exclusively) include post-war/combat soldiers and survivors of sexual abuse. 

Flashbacks are no laughing matter. They have oddly become more common since movies started. And it is a bit like watching a film, only this is the 3D, fully immersive kind. Your brain throws you right back into the traumatic event, and you relive it as if you were there. It is terrifying, debilitating and to be avoided. It is deeply traumatic in itself. 

These are the folk we need/want to protect, right? 

We do not want to drive anyone to despair. 

In all fairness to them, a little word of caution so there's no nasty surprises is a simple courtesy which can save severe pain and suffering. 

It serves as a warning for them to put their coping strategies in place and/or choose not to read a book they will find too difficult to cope with. 

By the way, they may well choose to read your book anyway. With the correct coping strategies in place, it may help them face/overcome their issue/s. 

What we are doing is offering them the information so they may make an informed decision. 

Trigger warnings give people the power of control and choice.

So, if your book (especially if it's unexpected) contains scenes of:

• Violence/war
• Sexual/physical/mental abuse
• Mental illness
• Oppressive/hateful language or behaviour
• Self-harm
• Eating disorders
• Death/suicide
• Pregnancy/miscarriage/abortion

...please put a trigger warning under the blurb to save long-term psychological damage.

It just makes sense, doesn't it? 

To clarify the 'unexpected': e.g. mafia romance books will likely contain violence or books set during war will likely contain death. 

But, if you've written a romance book which features mental health issues, that's not expected so should definitely mention it in the blurb.

If there are serious issues included in your story, it's nice to list available helplines/support in the back of your book. 

Your book description should give a good idea what readers can expect your story to be about. 

No, you do not need a trigger warning if there's something such as a cliffhanger. 

If book 1 in a series does not say, "And they lived happily ever after. The end." it is NOT going to inflict long-term psychological damage. It will not cause flashbacks. It might just cause mild annoyance/aggravation. 

Please learn this important difference. 

There are people with actual debilitating problems (hopefully seeking professional assistance to come to terms with their trauma).

Demanding trigger warnings for things which cause disgruntlement helps no-one. 

To help you further, the dictionary definition of trauma:

trauma

/ˈtrɔːmə,ˈtraʊmə/

noun

1. 1.

   a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.

   
   

   "a personal trauma like the death of a child"

   • 
     

     
     
2. 
   
3. 1a. mass noun Emotional shock following a stressful event or a physical injury, which may lead to long-term neurosis.
   ‘the event is relived with all the accompanying trauma’
4. 2.

   MEDICINE

   physical injury.

   
   

   "rupture of the diaphragm caused by blunt trauma"

   
   

   synonyms:

   injury, damage, hurt, wound, wounding, sore, bruise, cut, laceration, lesion, abrasion, contusion "the gallstone can be extracted without unnecessary trauma to the liver"

~ basically events outside the ordinary, expected human experience

~ experience which involves actual or threatened death or severe injury (of self or others)

~ involves overwhelming fear, helplessness and/or horror 

This has been a public service blog post, brought to you with concern for mental well-being.  

It is meant to inform and educate, not to criticise or belittle. 

My aim is to help authors decide whether or not to include a trigger warning under their book description, and the reasons why. 

And to bring a little perspective to the confusion that exists out there. 

Always with love and light,

TL

If you are affected by the contents of this blog please do seek help. 

There are so many people, trained, willing and ready to take your call. Don't be alone. 

Thank you.

The Art of Self Love

Image c/o Princess Sassypants

I wanted to explore self-love a little more here.
Yes, I have a novel of that name coming out, but when I started to look at the hashtags, I began to get concerned. Not because of smutty images; do get that mind out of the gutter, please. No, because I fear it may be being misinterpreted.

Self-love is about self-care.
Simple as that really.
Valuing yourself, making sure you're OK.

When we seek outside validation for how we look, this is NOT self-love.
In fact, it could be quite the reverse.

My background; I had started my Reiki training, but changed tutors. My new Reiki Master asked us all in level 2 if we'd been doing self-Reiki. We all shook our heads.
"No, that's for my clients," I explained when asked.
As holistic therapists and spiritual people, we all put others first. That's what lovely people do, isn't it?
Wrong!
Let me tell you what she told us. "You cannot pour from an empty cup."

Oh!
This really struck a chord with me.
So, to help others best I need to be at my best? Well, yeah. If I'm not vibrating at my highest energy then I'm not going to channel as much for others.

This does not just apply to Reiki, please don't worry about that.
But when you are happy are you not more inclined to help others too?
If you are sad you require assistance, and that's absolutely fine. But you're not in the best place to help others.

When I was a counsellor, I went for what is called 'supervision'. It's a kind of counselling for counsellors. We would discuss if anything had pressed our buttons; if we needed to discuss anything that had come up for us. It ensures the counsellor is not adversely affected, and is able to help others without their own stuff interfering.

That may all be well and good, but maybe you're now wondering what on Earth I'm talking about with vibrations (it does NOT include batteries btw 😉), or thinking you don't want to go for counselling. Well, you don't have to! (but please do seek help if you need it)

Self-love, as I said, is as simple as self-care.
Perhaps you're a highly driven career person, desperately trying to keep up with chores etc. when you get home.
You may be a busy mum/dad, running around, putting your precious poppets first. They demand this attention, after all.
"I don't have time," you may tell me.
Bollocks!

OK, so this quote drives the point home, but is a little bit terrifying too.
I'm not going to tell you to meditate for an hour, unless you want to.
I just want to encourage you to make time.
Even if it's once the kids are in bed, and you manage to go to the loo in peace for ten whole minutes. Light some candles (they help with the smell 😃) and read a book whilst you're there.

Better yet, take a hot bubble bath. This is one of my favourite ways to relax. Candles, music, perhaps a drop of wine, time to myself as I soak in suds; bliss!
But there's so many ways you can practice self-love.

• Take a walk; find some trees to wander around. 
• Eat healthily. Drink more water. 
• Get some exercise.
• Breathe in the aroma of your coffee and relish that cup. 
• When you go to bed, close your eyes, and let your thoughts wander without dwelling on problems before you sleep.
• Hell, just brush your hair and put on clothes that make you feel good. 

*see womenwithsparkle on Instagram for weekly inspiration/reminders to sparkle up.
And/or follow princesssassypants on Facebook for happy pictures.
Or, you know, just look at cat pictures.

You will find a mini-version of my self-talk talk on YouTube and my IGTV

And my Writer's Block blog post includes further useful links, including to my meditations on InsightTimer.

The important thing is YOU do something for YOU!  

We have been conditioned to think selfishness is bad. "You should not be all about you."
You should still be compassionate and think of others. But NOT to the exclusion of yourself!
Take care of you, and you can better take care of others.

Self-love is self-care.
It is NOT selfish. Is IS essential! 

Got it? Good!

Always in love and light,

TL

Should you wish to read my novel where Molly goes through personal growth whilst shrinking, you can find Self Love on all good ereaders (and in paperback).

WRITING TIPS - Writing - Why we do it

"The road is loooooong," to quote the song "He Ain't Heavy".
And there is indeed many a winding road. And who knows where they may lead?

I see writers online struggling with their burden, wondering if it is worth carrying on.
So, I thought I'd address this question today.

The question stems from your reason for writing.
Are you writing to try to make money? If so, then perhaps you should quit. Very few people manage to make a living from writing.
Does a ballet dancer ever make copious quantities of money? Most don't. But they practice until their feet are deformed and bleeding, pushing themselves to new and harder limits. Why? Because they love it.

Dance and writing are art forms.
Artists practice their craft for the love of it. Because to not pursue it is inconceivable.
Writing is like breathing to me now. I can't not write. Whether people buy my books or not, I have to carry on.

Do I want more people to buy and enjoy my books?
Of course. But that's not why I write.
It is part of me, and I am part of it.

My friend, whom I've mentioned before, was a wonderful spiritual adviser.
"Keep on keeping on," she'd tell me.
This advice still rings in my ears. Through every struggle in my life, when I feel as if I can't continue one more step, I remember those sage words. I dig deep, and find the strength to carry on.

Bad sales figures can be disheartening. Negative reviews can feel soul destroying.
Don't let one person ruin your day.
Maybe you've had a bad day. It is not the same as having a bad life.
And beneath it all, we have our love for writing.
We continue to pour our souls onto the page as we have no other option.

It takes work. A lot of work.
I have been published for five years, and I am still learning, still building my audience.
Overnight success is a myth.
It takes time and effort to write, to hone your craft, to publicise your book/s, to garner interest.
This is a long game.
It takes drive, determination and stamina.
It takes every ounce you think you can give it, and then it demands more, this muse of writing.

Stories plague us, they taunt us, they dance in our heads until we think we will go quite mad.
And sometimes they hide as we put blocks in our own way. Our characters fall silent, refusing to speak.
I have written before about the struggles of procrastination, the crippling self doubt which can creep up on us, and of writer's block.
Then we have to relax. Take a step back. Distract ourselves until the story once more flows from our veins and drips through our fingertips.

What does success look like to you?
If you've pushed that big scary publish button; well done you. That's massive! Do you know how many people tell me, "I've been thinking about writing a book?" LOADS! Thinking is the operative word. They've not done it. They've not bared all, haven't yet had the courage to do what you have done. You're a success already!
If you've not published yet, but are writing...yep, you're a success too. You're following your passion, making headway. Keep going.

We all have our own path. Others have theirs.

Do not feel pain or envy at others' success. Celebrate it. It should give us hope, that perhaps we all have a chance after all. 

What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another.

Keep learning different promotional ideas. Try them. Find what works for you. 

Everything is exactly as it should be. 

You are already walking your path. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Take that next step. 

You got this.

I still have stories to tell.
Do you?

Always in love and light,

TL

Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) & Manifestation for Writers, or Anyone Really

Yeah, so I'm one of those. The annoying positive thinking types. Don't groan like that please; it's not attractive 😉

Now, that doesn't mean it's easy, or that I go around in my fluffy cloud land permanently. Far from it.  I actually struggle with depression. There, I said it!
Where did you think the Darkness & Light Duology came from? 😉 Yes, I strive to balance both.

I do try to see the positives. The flower amongst the weeds is beautiful, delicate yet strong.

Count what you DO have, not what you have not.
Go on, take a minute now, I'll wait...
What blessings do you have?
Did you wake up this morning? Is there a safe roof over your head? Was there hot and cold running water in your taps? And food in your fridge/cupboards?
So many things which we take for granted are seen by others as rich treasures and luxuries.

We live in a capitalist world, consumerism runs riot.
We are bombarded by constant messages of "you need this in your life", "your life is incomplete without this product" etc.
Eurgh! So tiresome 😩
Then there's the images we're shown of digitally enhanced images of unattainable "beauty". Who's to say what's beautiful, anyway? We all are by the way. Our bodies are mini miracles floating around on this little rock hurtling through the vast cosmos.

Life is fleeting. It's a mere blink of an eye in universal terms.
What you do with it is up to you.
Yes, you have choice.

Life is full of frustrations, I get that. I really do.
But if we constantly tell ourselves we can't do something, then there is only ever going to be one result. We get in our way.

There's a problem? What's the solution?
I know this is very simplistic and not always that easy, by the way.
But that cringe-inducing phrase "they're not problems, they're challenges" really does hold some wisdom.
What can you do to resolve it?

example
I had a very Mondayish Monday this week.
I was actually in a really good mood, excited for the week as I got out of bed. But then I turned on my computer.
Uh oh!
I had the 'Merda Touch' - it's like the Midas touch, but brown and smelly 😕
Everything I touched turned to 💩
My gut reaction was to run back to bed and hide under my duvet until Monday went away. This is AN option, for sure.
But, I chose a different path. I poured a larger cup of coffee, had a break, then gritted my teeth and hunkered down.
I systematically went through each problem, looking past the presenting problem and finding what was really behind it. Then tackled those.
I sent emails, I made calls, I social media'd. I did whatever it took to right the wrongs.
And I did. By the end of Monday, I was back on track.

Now, in my ethos, there's lessons in all things. It's really annoying, but I clearly accept I had to go through that stuff, that I have learned something. My resolve was strengthened, at least.
Do I wish it had been different? Hell yeah! But it wasn't. Nothing else to be done about it. On with the next day.

And that sums up life, doesn't it?
There's ups, there's downs. There's good times, which are shown all the better in contrast with the bad.
Buddhists will tell you there is no good, and there is no bad, just experiences.
As much as I admire this, I've not managed to fully detach myself enough to live that way yet.
But I no longer take things so personally.

You know what? The world's not against you.
Sure, it feels that way sometimes. But the world is a busy place. It's not going to waste time victimising individuals.

So, in writing terms...
You may still be struggling to finish your first book. You don't get enough time. You're stuck. You don't know where the story's going.
Write when you can. That's all anyone asks. And if a story is desperately trying to break through, find time, make it. Try to structure your day/week in a way that will give you a window. Does ALL the housework need to be done? Will that bit of dust kill you? Sometimes, just the basics are good enough.

Or maybe you've tried a marketing strategy but floods of readers haven't bought your book?
Oh, I know this one intimately.
But, even if hundreds didn't make the purchase, how many SAW your advert?
Exposure for your book is always good. Your name is getting out there.
Slow and steady wins the race.

I often refer back to my article with advice for new authors
As snarky as it is, there are some important facts in there.
Nobody is ever really an overnight success.
Everybody has to work hard to achieve greatness.
JK Rowling's Harry Potter was turned down 12 times by publishers!
Go to the article for more fun stats like this btw. I know it often makes me feel betterer (my word!).

Stop putting so much pressure on yourself.
C'est la vie, and all that.

What's your goal?
Plan to achieve.

Try an Angel Board.
Put pictures of your goal on there, thanking the angels (or deity of your choosing) for (whatever it is you desire). Keep it in the present tense, as if you already have those things. And keep is SMART
Don't expect miracles to happen for you. Make things happen.
Keep going back to your board regularly. What steps have you taken that bring you closer to that goal?

My wonderful friend who is now with the angels, used to tell me...
"Keep on keeping on"
"Everything is exactly as it should be"
She's right. And yes, she still gets those messages through when I'm very mardy.

Keep dreaming. Dream big.
Dream. Believe. Acheive.
Reach for the moon, and you might just get the stars.
And all that jazz.

If you would like tips on writer's block and/or stress relief head to my blog post here.

Always in love and light,

TL

WRITING TIPS - How to Beat Writer's Block - positive mental health for authors

Writer's block - it's a common complaint.
I see many asking how to overcome it, their pitiful pleas are plastered across pages and forums.

So, you want to know how to overcome it?
Shh (*puts finger to lips, and eyes the room suspiciously*)
Come closer.
It's a secret.

.
.
.
IT DOESN'T EXIST!

"What?" I hear you cry indignantly. 

OK, OK, calm down. 

Here's the thing...

By naming it "Writer's Block" you are in fact putting a block on yourself. 

That very word brings images of brick walls slamming down in my brain, imprisoning me. 

(*pulls on collar*) So claustrophobic!

Help! I'm blocked. Trapped in. No escape.

NO! STOP IT!

It is not a block at all. Take a deep breath with me.
In...phwwwww....
and out...pheeewwwww

OK, so it's just a "ponder point".

Maybe you've written yourself into a corner? My dark elf made me do that, and I've still not forgiven the little git.
Perhaps you've been writing happily, and all of a sudden the thoughts stopped.
Did your friends stop talking to you? You know, those little character voices in your head?
Whatever the symptom, do you remember the words on the front of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"?

DON'T PANIC!

It is but a moment in time. This too shall pass.
Take yourself away from your laptop/typewriter/writing pad.
Go make a cup of tea (or other beverage).
Take a walk outside. I hear your shocked gasp. Yes, the outside is still a place, and you ARE able to venture out into it.
Go horse riding, swimming, play a musical instrument, sing, dance, draw, have a bath, read. Whatever.
"And now for something completely different" (as the Monty Python boys said).
Distract your mind. Do something fun. Something for YOU. Set yourself free.

If you continue to sit still, running your fingers over your face and/or through your hair, you'll drive yourself crazy.
When you're in a hole, stop digging.

Honestly, it is NOT a block.
You can and will get through this.
The words will flow once more.


** If you want a meditation to help, my "Reconnecting with your Creative Flow" meditation is now up on the Insight Timer app. It's completely free. Click here.

If you want to hear the thoughts of another writer on this topic head to Paul's Fantasy Writings Blog

And, Written Word Media have an excellent post on meditation and exercises.

Oh, for a hilarious novel which may nudge you towards better self-talk, you could try my own Self Love.

** Additional meditation
If you're struggling with insomnia, I now also have this meditation on Insight Timer (Shut Off And Sleep).


This has been a TL service for all the suffering writers out there.
Thank you for listening.

I'd love to hear some of your distraction techniques.


Always with love & light,
TL