Showing posts with label mindfulness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mindfulness. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 February 2020

REVIEW - The Fat Girl's Guide to Loving Your Body - true love



Date read: 13th February 2020

My rating: 4.5*

Genre I reckon: Self-help

Buy link: All stores






Now, you may have noticed, I've been using my blog to do the journal assignments in this book. 
There's a lot of journal entries to complete but that's the beauty of this book - it makes you actively think and assess your mindset. 

Now, there's an obvious target market - the clue's in the title. 
However, anyone with body issues can find benefit in this book, regardless of size or gender.
"It is not your job to be pretty" is a core belief here - sound advice for all, right? 

The first half gives you background of the author's journey along with advice before setting tasks for you. This is a voice of experience, people. 

The second half details daily meditations. Every single day for a year, there's a different thought for the day - something to think about or do, all aimed at helping you improve your attitude to your body and food. 

This is not "I know better because I have all these degrees" advice. No, it's far better. This is KL Montgomery sharing her experience and life knowledge with you. Open, honest truths. 

The informal language throughout is fun and feels like a friendly chat - far better than the "do this/that/the other" of a lot of self-help manuals. 
Oh, and there's swearing included, so if the f bomb offends, this may not be the book you are looking for (*waves hand in a Jedi stylee*).

There's definitely some things I will personally take from this book which will help me on my own body positive journey. 

So, if you've got a less than friendly self-dialogue going on, grab this book with both hands. 
It's even in KU as I write this - a whole year's worth of book fro free. Even at £5 it's a bargain. 
If you get the paperback, there's pages included for your journal assignments btw. 

If you do one good thing for yourself this month/year, buy this book! 




Thursday, 19 April 2018

WRITING TIPS - How to Beat Writer's Block - positive mental health for authors


Writer's block - it's a common complaint.
I see many asking how to overcome it, their pitiful pleas are plastered across pages and forums.

So, you want to know how to overcome it?
Shh (*puts finger to lips, and eyes the room suspiciously*)
Come closer.
It's a secret.

.
.
.
IT DOESN'T EXIST!

"What?" I hear you cry indignantly. 

OK, OK, calm down. 
Here's the thing...

By naming it "Writer's Block" you are in fact putting a block on yourself. 
That very word brings images of brick walls slamming down in my brain, imprisoning me. 
(*pulls on collar*) So claustrophobic!


Help! I'm blocked. Trapped in. No escape.

NO! STOP IT!

It is not a block at all. Take a deep breath with me.
In...phwwwww....
and out...pheeewwwww

OK, so it's just a "ponder point".

Maybe you've written yourself into a corner? My dark elf made me do that, and I've still not forgiven the little git.
Perhaps you've been writing happily, and all of a sudden the thoughts stopped.
Did your friends stop talking to you? You know, those little character voices in your head?
Whatever the symptom, do you remember the words on the front of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"?

DON'T PANIC!

It is but a moment in time. This too shall pass.
Take yourself away from your laptop/typewriter/writing pad.
Go make a cup of tea (or other beverage).
Take a walk outside. I hear your shocked gasp. Yes, the outside is still a place, and you ARE able to venture out into it.
Go horse riding, swimming, play a musical instrument, sing, dance, draw, have a bath, read. Whatever.
"And now for something completely different" (as the Monty Python boys said).
Distract your mind. Do something fun. Something for YOU. Set yourself free.



If you continue to sit still, running your fingers over your face and/or through your hair, you'll drive yourself crazy.
When you're in a hole, stop digging.

Honestly, it is NOT a block.
You can and will get through this.
The words will flow once more.


** If you want a meditation to help, my "Reconnecting with your Creative Flow" meditation is now up on the Insight Timer app. It's completely free. Click here.

If you want to hear the thoughts of another writer on this topic head to Paul's Fantasy Writings Blog

And, Written Word Media have an excellent post on meditation and exercises.

Oh, for a hilarious novel which may nudge you towards better self-talk, you could try my own Self Love.


** Additional meditation
If you're struggling with insomnia, I now also have this meditation on Insight Timer (Shut Off And Sleep).


This has been a TL service for all the suffering writers out there.
Thank you for listening.

I'd love to hear some of your distraction techniques.


Always with love & light,
TL





Saturday, 25 July 2015

Cruelty


Yesterday afternoon I was unfortunate to stumble across a rather horrendous image on Facebook; one showing the whale grind in the Faroe Islands. I shan’t share that picture with you. If you feel compelled to see, Google it.

By the way, and I’m just dropping this in as food for thought, and really not suggesting for one moment this makes this hunt right…have you ever watched whales kill? There’s even videos of that online “whales playing with food” comes up as a search. That’s really not friendly!!

The post sparked an awful lot of comments. Some were defending the action as people need the meat for food. Whilst others were condemning it outright, often suggesting the people should move to where there is food. Mmm…try telling that to the millions in Africa!? And the anti-immigrant brigade in the UK would accept them with open arms, would they? Is it really their fault they were born there?

Anyway, it got me thinking. Is it OK to kill animals for food? Well, yes. I know, a whole load of you will be cursing me right now, fingers poised to throw horrible comments on how “we don’t need to eat meat”. But please hold it for a minute. Let’s please remain calm. We are omnivores, and have been since our creation, and we have thus far needed meat to survive. Sorry, that is fact.

However, we are evolving, and perhaps this argument is now slightly less true than once it was.

But OK, I accept many of us aren’t mentally ready to accept that just yet. So, the way in which we treat our food is important. The most objectionable thing about the whale grind seemed to be how it looked inhumane. A whole pod was destroyed (although you could argue this means no animal was left to grieve; flimsy at best). From the brief glimpse I allowed myself it did seem savage, but then these animals are massive and powerful.

I began to wonder what people think happens in a slaughter house. We have become so far removed from our animal sources, we simply try to put that out of mind, so our conscience allows us to east the yummy meat our bodies crave. Some don’t even know where their meat comes from. When asked they reply “the supermarket”!! Standards have improved in slaughter houses, but it’s still not exactly a pretty sight. There is still panic, fear and blood.

So, if we can’t imagine ourselves directly killing, or even bear thinking of others killing animals for our plates do we have a right to eat meat? Are we being a tad hypocritical?

“So become vegetarian”, I hear you cry! Yes, that would stop a lot of animal slaughter, granted. But as a vegetarian do you still eat eggs? There are few things less humane than eggs. When I was a little girl I went into a battery hen house; it is my very own ‘Silence of the Lambs’. The scene was horrific; it was dark, it was smelly, it was noisy, and the hens were crammed into tiny cages. As an empath, the feelings of fear and distress were too much and I ran straight back out before I was suffocated. To this day I get this image if I reach for anything other than free range eggs.

So eating free range eggs is OK? Well no actually. The animals have happier lives. But did you realise hens aren’t supposed to lay that many eggs? They are fed specific feed and kept under certain conditions and have been specifically bred to lay more and more eggs. And what happens to the male chicks? Only hens (the girls) lay. Uh oh, ever seen the images of that? Huge carriers filled with male chicks (well, mainly male – it’s incredibly difficult to sex chicks). They’re not being taken for a happy ride. Nope, they’re heading to their doom, and none too gently.

Turning vegan is the answer! We then can avoid killing animals for leather, clothes, cosmetics etc. Great! But we really do start putting a lot of strain on our bodies. We can do it, but it is difficult. Apart from the effects on our body, the practicality is a nightmare. What’s in your soap, your sweets etc.? And are you telling me that plants don’t feel? If you cut them, do they not bleed (sap)? They absorb the elements as we do. They process the sunlight, and absorb the rain and they grow and breathe. Trees actually breathe out the oxygen we can breathe in. So, is it really OK to eat plants/vegetables/fruit? Ever heard a lettuce heart scream as you cut it?

OK, I’m taking this all a bit too far now.

Now, hopefully, you’ve not hit that button to send me hate mail just yet, as the real point I was going to make is this…

The post on whales was merely ironic. There were clearly two opposing sides with really strong views. The views tended to be either “killing any animal is bad, if you disagree you’re a fuckwit” vs “I love eating meat and am defending it by attacking you”.

You see, when our incredibly strong opinions are challenged we will defend it. Of course we will. But the defence on both sides ended up as vicious attacks on the other party. One guy kept dropping in anti-vegetarian images, taunting them with meat!  Each side was so quick to condemn the other it ended up being filled with hatred. Really vile things were said. The very people chanting they wanted to save the whales out of love ended up being cruel to other humans.

The problem is there are arguments for and against (for practically anything in life).

The bigger problem is how we react to those arguments.

So many seem incapable of saying, “You think that way. I think this way. I respect that there are differences between us.” People are entitled to their own opinion; we have free will. We don’t have to agree with them. We don’t even have to like them. But we should all respect that they have their own opinion. I have unfriended many on Facebook whose opinions varied from my own too much. I cannot change their opinion, as much as I would want to try. And in some cases I have indeed offered more information so perhaps they can have a more informed opinion. But there comes a point when you have to realise this person just doesn’t fit with your ideals and you need to release them with love and light.

Even typing this is hard; I want to fill it with my opinions of right and wrong. I accept there are certain subjects I want to say, “No, you’re wrong! You should…” I’m human! And therefore imperfect.

I guess what I’m trying to say is; be kind to one another!

Disagree, fine. But don’t be cruel about it. Otherwise we perpetuate the hatred we were trying to avoid in the first place.