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| Book available to buy here |
I'm currently reading the above book which gives you journal assignments. So, I've decided to put mine on my blog here - sharing is caring; hopefully it will help others. But also, it'll hold me accountable, ensuring I carry on.
Quick intro to me...
I literally wrote the book Self Love.
I have already started my own self-love journey and thus that book was born.
However, I've never said I'm not a work in progress. So, this is the next step in my journey. See if I can get even better at this loving myself thing.
Assignment 1 asks us to name the first time someone called us fat.
But I'm bass ackwards too, Krista. My journey starts with the first time someone called me skinny. There's a whole circle of hurt to go through to get to my "fat period".
Let me take you back to my childhood...
My netball picture on the left - I'd clearly been watching too much "We Are the Champions" - a sporty game show at the time for kids where they'd pose ridiculously as shown here. Tee hee.
(OK, how many times can I self-deprecate already? See; work in progress.)
Ooh, just noticed the beautiful colour coordination with the book cover - aww!
I was naturally thin AND was a fussy eater.
My mother used to make me take chewable vitamins as she was concerned about my health (*bleurgh*).
When I was around 7 years old, a new girl came into our school my best friend forever decided she liked her more. To "break up" with me she got mean, and things were said. Amongst which was, "You're too skinny."
Caught up in the turmoil of our epic split, the other girls in my class started to call me "beanpole".
Even my teacher used to torment me with, "You're so feeble." 😱 Yep, my teacher!! I may never refer to her again, so let me share her comeuppance.
(*Slight digression*) Said teacher refused to let me wear my sunhat in the playground. I'd just almost been hospitalised with sunstroke - no exaggeration, my life was on the line. My father, in a rare show of heroism, strolled into class unannounced one day. Knowing my father, he was possibly inebriated. He demanded to speak to the teacher, who followed him out of class, tail between her legs. They didn't go far and there were no doors. Oh, "he tore her a new one" (gave her a dressing down/yelled painful truths at her). Suffice to say, I was thereafter allowed to wear said protective headgear.
If I ever doubt my daddy's love, this is one of the very few moments I can reflect upon, smile, and know he loved me. Nobody was going to endanger his little princess!
Anyway, weight stuff...
When I was about 10, my boyfriend dumped me because, "You have no arse." - to this day, it baffles me why this was any of his concern at such a tender age, but there it is.
Back to my seven-year-old self... a whole mess of realisations were dawning in my formative mind. They all got mixed up in one ball of crap. The general pain and angst grew the, "you're too skinny" into something far more than it should ever have been.
I became isolated, alone and friendless.
Why? Apparently, because I was too thin.
A nice problem to have? Oh, far from it, my friend. But I suspect there'll be plenty more details to come on this. I don't want to jump ahead of myself.
This was probably the very start of it; my problems with weight.
Always in love and light,
TL
I have never ever been called too skinny. I can't even wrap my head around it LOL. But I know that messages we receive about our bodies as children can really wreak havoc on our body image, no matter what those messages are. Thanks for sharing and doing the work!
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing the book.
DeleteYeah, being too skinny is as hurtful as too fat. That part will come later though.
Watch this space for more revelations ;)
Doh! I managed to remove my own comment whilst removing SPAM!
DeleteI just wanted to thank you for writing the book xx