PONDERING - The Realities of Being an Author (10 years in)

 

This is NOT a brag post, far from it. However, writing is easy for me. I love it. Stories come to me in that place between sleep and awake, and when the words flow out of me into my manuscript, it’s a special kind of magick. That's not to say I don't have my moments, though - those times where Self-Doubt creeps in or a character does something stupid. 

However, the rest is HARD!

There is always research, especially for my historical novels. Love in the Roses (my medieval book) took me two YEARS to create. But that’s its own kind of fun, even if one does end up in rabbit holes of The Internet discovering one exciting thing after another.

The hard part is what comes after. The editing; hacking away bits you love yet don’t drive the story.

The publishing – so many decisions to make from cover design to blurb writing and the myriad of options one must sift through; pricing, size, paper, platform/s etc. And the countless uploads into your chosen platform, ensuring the book displays as you intended.

Then there’s the marketing. That’s where the real work begins. Creating beautiful images and videos, deciding which quotes are enticing. And adapting according to which social media outlet you use; each has their own style expectation. And then one must do battle with the algorithms, trying against all odds to get a wide audience to see the wonders you’ve spent hours creating. It can feel like you’re screaming into the void.

But increasingly, there is The Fear.

Not only is it incredibly nerve-wracking to push the big, scary publish button (which in itself is terrifying). I mean, what if readers hate your precious book baby? This is perhaps the biggest hurdle and why so many potential writers don't meet their full potential.

But no, that's not fear enough on its own, says The Universe. We now live in an age of Cancel Culture – you so much as breathe in the wrong way and someone will decide to be offended and cry for your cancellation. And that’s before you even encounter trolls who just target you because they can and they’re bored. Or, dare I say, those who tear other authors down as they fear competition. Seriously, there are millions of readers out there – we can and should share.

The latter saddens me the most. Authors are often the only ones who know our lived experience, who understand this crazy journey. We should only be supportive of one another. Heaven knows I try to.

Then there is the endless sea of scammers. I block accounts daily. There are those who promise to garner thousands of followers if you just pay $xx (which they won’t). Or tell you they want to read your book, but ask for payment. And, of course, many authors get sent dick pics. Or end up on lists so you get tagged in those annoying posts pretending you’ve won something. Or folk who say they want you to be a brand ambassador. The list goes on.

Pirates sail those seas too. And if you’re unfortunate enough for someone to steal your book, and put it on an illegal site, if you’re in Kindle Unlimited and Amazon bots detect your book “on sale” elsewhere they’ll cancel your whole account, even though you’re utterly innocent. And you try arguing against The Mighty Zon!! 

There was even a raft of writers a few months ago who Amazon accused of being connected to a banned account – authors who had only had one selling account for years. Their accounts got closed with no initial explanation. Their protestations were met with unsympathetic representatives who insisted they were guilty. It took the assistance of big name influencers and many many emails to get their accounts reinstated.

Then there are hackers. I personally, lost my original author fb account which had a fan page and support groups attached to it. After 8 years, I had 6,000 followers. Lost! And no way to get it back.

Authors are NOT rich! Most of us have day jobs in order to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads. On average, we receive £1 per book. And that’s not profit. Out of that, we have to pay for editors, cover designers, merchandising and advertising etc. etc. etc.

Like all creatives, we do not write for profit. There are far easier ways to make money, believe me.

I write because I love it! But all the stress caused by The Fear created from the above is making it increasingly hard to hold onto that love. There are only so many times you can hit your head against a brick wall before giving yourself concussion.

Look, this all sounds like I hate my author life. I really don’t. I’m just exhausted! The countless hours of creating videos/images along with all the writing bits mounts up. And I’ve been working a lot of temp jobs this year in order to fund my book launches and pay for the increasing cost of living that we’re all experiencing.

I was really ill repeatedly at the tail end of last year. To the extent that I went to my dark place, not being able to foresee a time I would ever feel healthy again. Yes, I'm saying I considered taking my own life - just being honest here. And even although I’ve recovered, my energy still gets easily sapped. And I know I’m not alone in this.

That Which Shan’t Be Named had a massive impact on us all (spot the obvious statement of the year!). But it did. Has. We’re still feeling the aftermath of that horrific time. We were all put into flight or fight mode for a prolonged period, even if we did not get the lurgy itself. And that alone is exhausting.

But trying to be creative under such duress was nigh impossible. And for people like we authors, that’s incredibly frustrating. We feel like we’re failing, and panic that we’ll never write again. That we’ve lost that magick spark which lights us up. *NEWS FLASH* we haven’t lost it.

We’re at midsummer right now as I write this. We’re supposed to be at the zenith of power for the year. However, in the UK, we have oppressive heat. Our hot weather comes with incredibly high humidity and we live in homes designed to trap heat in as we used to be a cold country. Most of us don’t have air conditioning. And we feel like we’re being baked like potatoes! This can make us grumpy, miserable, aggressive, frustrated, unwell, fatigued – any/all of these. It does not help us find our happy thought!

After ten years of being a writer, I’ve learned a lot. I wrote down all the things I wish I’d known at the start of my author life in order to pave the way for others; to make it a little easier for them. How To Write A Historical Novel And Love It is its title. There is even a checklist to work through for when writers reach the publishing stage.

Stories still come to me, and so still I write them. And love it. I just wish all the harassment and bleurgh of life would stop so I could get on with the job I love.

What makes it all worth it? Good reviews! Knowing there is someone out there who enjoyed all my effort lights up my soul. I write for them. To bring someone else a little joy in this ever darkening landscape.

(fellow indie author, Wendy Hewlett and me)

Why did I write this post? Maybe partially to vent all this frustration. But also so other authors know they’re not alone. This life can be very isolating, and it’s all too easy to feel we’re failing, and the only one experiencing obstacles. But we’re never alone. I've seen the worried posts - I've seen you and heard you.

Also, I really wanted readers to appreciate all the challenges we writers face.

We don’t expect everyone to love everything we write. You’re never going to be able to please all of the people all of the time, and all that. Your opinion is valid. But please, don’t be spiteful in reviews. I’ve seen far too many authors crumble from hurtful words. All I ask is for a little compassion, a fair and balanced view of your reading experience.

Authors need support. Yes, don’t we all? I know. But it truly is important. Now more than ever. If you did enjoy a book, please do leave a review and/or share it with your friends and social media. After all, what is a writer without a reader?

If we get more readers, we can afford to write more books – it’s that simple.

(yes, me with Sophie Kinsella; name drop!)

Anyway, thank you for listening. I hope this post has shone a light on some things. And you don’t think I’m just being a moaning Minnie. I just wanted to be honest.

I want to leave on a more positive note. So, I’ll say thank you to all my lovely readers who do leave reviews and/or share my bookish news – I truly appreciate you.

Always in love and light,

TL

WRITING TIPS - Writing - Why we do it

"The road is loooooong," to quote the song "He Ain't Heavy".
And there is indeed many a winding road. And who knows where they may lead?

I see writers online struggling with their burden, wondering if it is worth carrying on.
So, I thought I'd address this question today.

The question stems from your reason for writing.
Are you writing to try to make money? If so, then perhaps you should quit. Very few people manage to make a living from writing.
Does a ballet dancer ever make copious quantities of money? Most don't. But they practice until their feet are deformed and bleeding, pushing themselves to new and harder limits. Why? Because they love it.

Dance and writing are art forms.
Artists practice their craft for the love of it. Because to not pursue it is inconceivable.
Writing is like breathing to me now. I can't not write. Whether people buy my books or not, I have to carry on.

Do I want more people to buy and enjoy my books?
Of course. But that's not why I write.
It is part of me, and I am part of it.

My friend, whom I've mentioned before, was a wonderful spiritual adviser.
"Keep on keeping on," she'd tell me.
This advice still rings in my ears. Through every struggle in my life, when I feel as if I can't continue one more step, I remember those sage words. I dig deep, and find the strength to carry on.

Bad sales figures can be disheartening. Negative reviews can feel soul destroying.
Don't let one person ruin your day.
Maybe you've had a bad day. It is not the same as having a bad life.
And beneath it all, we have our love for writing.
We continue to pour our souls onto the page as we have no other option.

It takes work. A lot of work.
I have been published for five years, and I am still learning, still building my audience.
Overnight success is a myth.
It takes time and effort to write, to hone your craft, to publicise your book/s, to garner interest.
This is a long game.
It takes drive, determination and stamina.
It takes every ounce you think you can give it, and then it demands more, this muse of writing.

Stories plague us, they taunt us, they dance in our heads until we think we will go quite mad.
And sometimes they hide as we put blocks in our own way. Our characters fall silent, refusing to speak.
I have written before about the struggles of procrastination, the crippling self doubt which can creep up on us, and of writer's block.
Then we have to relax. Take a step back. Distract ourselves until the story once more flows from our veins and drips through our fingertips.

What does success look like to you?
If you've pushed that big scary publish button; well done you. That's massive! Do you know how many people tell me, "I've been thinking about writing a book?" LOADS! Thinking is the operative word. They've not done it. They've not bared all, haven't yet had the courage to do what you have done. You're a success already!
If you've not published yet, but are writing...yep, you're a success too. You're following your passion, making headway. Keep going.

We all have our own path. Others have theirs.

Do not feel pain or envy at others' success. Celebrate it. It should give us hope, that perhaps we all have a chance after all. 

What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another.

Keep learning different promotional ideas. Try them. Find what works for you. 

Everything is exactly as it should be. 

You are already walking your path. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Take that next step. 

You got this.

I still have stories to tell.
Do you?

Always in love and light,

TL

WRITING TIPS - Procrastination

Oh sweet distractions. We've all done it, right?
Please tell me it's not just me.

I have all this wonderful sweet sweet time. I used to dream of this; the availability to write full time.

I actually 'won' NaNoWriMo in November; over 50,000 words in just one month.
I know I can do it!

But then a bad back, Christmas, flu etc. got in my way.
But last week I finally managed to finish draft 1 of my work in progress.
Hoorah!

The dreaded 'editing' looms like a loomy thing in loomy town.
Actually, I normally quite like it; shaping and molding my little booky wook.

But what have I done?
Bugger all this week!!

• Monday I had to rest thanks to a rare migraine overnight.
• Tuesday I went out with my mother-in-law; it's a public service she provides for me. It means I get a little fresh air from time to time.
• Wednesday I was prepping for a photoshoot (this includes shaving, waxing, bathing). But then I saw the leak in the roof had started up again, worse than before the repair. A minor hissy fit may have ensued. 
• Today is Thursday and I've waited around for the roofers to come back and fix what they fixed before, and social media'd as it's easier to pick up and put down. 
• And now I've started organising a group promo for my folks in the Facebook group Indie Coffee Lounge  Ooh yes, muchly organising must be done. Yes, even writing this very blog post can be added to my list of important stuffs I simply must do. 

What am I doing? Really? I'm procrastinating. 

Come one, I've not been so busy all week I couldn't have found the time to do some editing. 

But I've wriggled out of facing it. This is my confession.

I know why too. 

I am suffering The Fear.

The fear that I will start going back through all that hard work and decide it's total tripe and will never be good enough to publish. 

This is what it looks like in my head. I'm still that little girl. I fear the pointy fingers of derision. The ones which tell me I'm crap, and not worthy. That I'll never achieve anything. Just not good enough. 

Time to tell them to fuck off!!! (excuse my potty mouth)

No. Bollocks. I'm not apologising. Sneer and jeer all you want at my naughty words. They're my words and what I feel and no pointy fingered people are going to dissuade me from venting my spleen! 

Piss off pointy fingers. 

I am a grown woman. 

I am an author. I have 7 books out, all of which have some lovely reviews.

I CAN and I WILL do this. 

So boo yar shucks (*pokes out tongue*)

Hear me roar.

(ooh, scared myself a little bit then)

Ah, that feels betterer. 

Tomorrow I will dedicate the whole day to editing. Because I can. 

And you can too xx

Always in love and light,

TL

To view my selection of lovely books which I've successfully published please go here

WRITING TIPS - Writing Inspiration

Almost every author interview I've had and many many people have asked me what inspires me to write.

Well I read a certain book which sounds like a colour chart. I honestly thought it was dreadful! From the poor plot and characters to the spelling and grammar, it was just bad. “Even I can write better than this!” I said rather arrogantly to myself. So I tried!

Where do I get my stories from? No, it’s not autobiographical. People do like to think books are, don’t they? But no, you are not going to get any wonderful insights about me as a person by reading my books. Hopefully, you will get pleasure though. Rekindled Love seems to really strike a chord with people.

Nor do I sit for hours, plotting and scheming every last moment before I even begin writing. I’m one of those lucky people that the stories just sort of ‘come to me’.  I recently read ‘September First’ by Hunter S Jones – it’s only on occasional release.  It’s about a complete nut-job who talks to taps and sees poetry everywhere which seems to emanate from a Red Admiral butterfly. Although I don’t go around naked and I hope I’m not quite that bonkers, I did (rather worryingly) identify with the character.

I liken the sensation to having the stories knock on my brain. They bang on the door and demand attention. True’s Love in particular was very persistent. The story was the first thing I thought of in the morning, and the last thing at night, and lots in between. It was almost like a mania; it was in my head and just had to come out before it drove me mad. I remember even locking myself away in the bedroom when the step children were round, just so I could carry on typing all weekend. It was a massive relief to finish that one!

I get a basic idea/outline, and then as I start writing bits fall into place. I'm a Pantser.

I do go back over and edit. And I also have a couple of proof readers check through. One’s own eyes can be a little too accustomed to what has been written and assume correctly spelled words when perhaps you shouldn’t.

I do have very strong female characters in my novels. I suppose they get that from me. I just can’t be doing with the naïve prissy type in my books! And I have already pledged that book 7 will feature a plus-sized lady. I do try to steer clear of the uber skinny girls; I don’t want to enforce a negative body image/stereotype. But nor have I been brave enough to aim for the proper fulsome girl either.

My next book is already knocking! I had got about halfway through book 5 when it started creeping in. I’m very excited as it’ll be my first vampire book. Up until now I’ve kept one foot in reality, but now I get to play!!

Ooh I just found a great quote I must share with you, and I include it here for my poor husband who knows this to be true. “A writer never has a vacation. For a writer, life consists of either writing or thinking about writing.”

As always, feel free to comment. Have you any writing styles/methods you’d like to share?

Always in love and light,

TL

Is Writing a Real Job?

It’s quite alarming how I hear so many authors being told, “well, it’s not like it’s a real job, is it?”

Why? Because we enjoy it?

Well firstly, many many many writers have lots of other commitments too. Most of us ‘indies’ seem to have day jobs too. So we actually have “two jobs” plus all the stuff in our home lives.

Secondly, have you tried writing? Yeah, the writing stage is a thrill and a delight mainly. But it can cause us serious brain ache at times too. That dreaded writer’s block? Gargh! You try doing your daily job and suddenly not being able to! Especially if there’s a deadline looming.

At least most people who have ‘real jobs’ have a guaranteed income. Being a writer means baring your soul to the world. You put your cherished work ‘out there’ and pray people see it, buy it and like it. My day job is in admin; if I produce a crap report my boss might be slightly displeased with me and make me redo it. Books don’t really have that option once they’re out there. And if people don’t like it then no income.

So, they scoff, “But you’re only self-published. Anyone can do that and churn out any old muck!” Oh yeah? Put your money where your mouth is. 

Yes, sadly there are a few indies out there bringing shame to the rest of us, putting out work that’s not been edited. But most of the books I’ve read by indies (which is steadily growing in number) are excellent. I’ve seen worse traditionally published. Just because we want our work to be our own, and not mutated to fit into a publisher’s rigid box, please don’t judge us. It makes our book library far more diverse, which is a good thing. Throw away stale formulae!!

And it’s not all happy happy joy joy writing. The first phase is the writing. Then the gut wrenching, brain hurting editing starts. We pour over the work over and over checking and re-writing until we’re happy.

Then we throw it to the wolves; in come the copy editors, the proof readers etc.

They happily spot the errors that our eyes (too used to our own words) have missed. So we re-edit again. They tell us stuff we don’t want to hear, but if we have any sense we listen regardless as our book babies get criticised.

After final edits that we are now agonising over, we seek a cover. We need to dress our book babies to make them look pretty. I use a pro for mine (Robin Ludwig). My covers look fantastic thanks to Robin’s hard work. Yet even this is agonising. What image do I need to portray. In one picture how do I sum up / convey all I want my book to say? I don’t know, I just spent somewhere around 100 A4 pages saying what I want to say. How the hell does one picture show that? Thanks to Robin’s patience we’ve succeeded so far though.

So, with our hair much thinner than it once was (having proverbially pulled so much out by this stage), we go online and select our selling avenues. And we agonise over the categories to put our books in, the price to set. And the blurbs. Oh the blurbs (advice on those here)!! We thought the rest was tough, but how do you right a punchy couple of paragraphs to entice your potential readers without giving away too much plot? This is the bit I struggle with the most. I feel protective over spoilers, and then struggle to give enough info. Gaaaarrrrgh!

We finally press the publish button after months (or years) of hard work and worry. Yay, it’s ‘out there’! We do a little happy dance. We go back to our sales figures daily to see if anyone’s noticed our book’s birth yet.

We then start the real work; the publicising. For indie authors this is essential and starts to take up valuable writing time, but we must do it. We need people to notice us. So we set up Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, Goodreads, Amazon Author pages etc. etc.etc. We chat, we swap ideas, we plead with people to buy, and we seek precious reviews.

After all this, we may or may not get some meagre sales (with people wanting to either not pay at all, or buy at a really low price).

😏
So, all you judgemental “it’s not like a real job” gits: how many hours do you think have been put into this “little book”? How much do you reckon our hourly rate works out at? Would you work for such a low salary and with such a high risk of little success? No, I didn’t think so!

In conclusion (and as always, inmho); yes, writing is a “real job” and a bloody hard one!

So please, be nice to us. Don’t troll us (we’re sensitive souls!). And just give us a nod once in a while; let us know you’ve seen us in the crowd, leave us a review. Please.

Thank you; you’ve been a wonderful reader. J

 I saw this today and nicked it, but thought it illustrated this blog post nicely:

Always in love and light,
TL

An Author's Day

A Day In My Life

Firstly, apologies. I said from the beginning I wouldn't blog regularly. However, I had intended to do more than I have. Sorry. I will try to do better.

05:50 – ‘sunrise alarm clock’ starts kicking in

06:15 – alarm now has full sunrise in motion, accompanied by radio kicking in (time to groan and  roll over)

06:20 – gradually drag myself into the land of the living

06:35 – finally admit I cannot stay in bed all day (begrudgingly), and heave arse out of bed

06:50 – valuable reading time done whilst carrying out ablutions (tmi?)

07:00 – having thrown some clothes on, stagger downstairs to make packed lunch & breakfast

07:10 – eat breakfast trying to catch some news on BBC Breakfast

07:20 – shit! Is that the time?? Rush out the door. Get to car. Rush back in for Kindle.

07:50 – phew, made it into the day job OK. Thanks be for quiet traffic.

08:45 – had coffee, which helped me get through meeting first thing

10:00 – been hard at work ‘adminning’ (yes, I made up a new word), but now wondering how many hours are left in the day. Decide it’s too many!

10:30 – coffee number 2. Will this day ever end? Storyline is knocking but I’m trapped here so I can’t do anything about it.

13:00 – managed to be productive, but tummy rumbling means time for cheese & apple lunch. 30 minutes to scoff food and read some other indie authors’ work.

13:30 – back into office. Feel sleepy after food so coffee number 3.

16:30 – yay; I managed to focus on admin work all day (well, I did it, whilst my heart was longing for a farmhouse retreat)

17:05 – get home. Option 1) exercise 2) feed cat 3) collapse on sofa (interchangeable dependent on mood)

17:30 – if not done so already, feed cat (anything to stop the meowing)

17:35 – check in with fb/Twitter/Goodreads/Amazon sales or reviews whilst greeting hubby as he gets home

18:00 – time for feeding! Option 1) hint at hubby until he makes dinner 2) make it myself (usually option 1 wins out here)

18:30 – eat dinner, perhaps whilst still typing replies to people

18:45 – think about blog.

19:00 – brain hurting. Just sit and relax in front of TV

19:05 – get distracted by personal fb

19:10 – write sarcastic comment on hubby’s fb, just so he knows I’ve remembered he’s sitting next to me :-/

19:30 – try to promote existing books and worry I’m not doing enough

20:00 – need a bath (tends to keep flies away). Take opportunity to read.

21:00 – too tired to do anything now. Plan on writing book as soon as I get home tomorrow.

22:00 – Go to bed, exhausted (having actually done PC work most of the evening even in the gaps where I’ve pretended I don’t)

Exciting, huh? Weekends might see a bit more sleep, sometimes a day out or amusing step kids. I occasionally get space and time to write.

This sounds like I’m moaning. I’m really not. Having been made redundant five times I’m grateful to have a job at all. I need to keep a roof over my head somehow. I just wish I was able to ferret myself away when the writing bug grips me, just to get some words down. The writing Mistress is a cruel one; sometimes she comes calling at inappropriate and/or inconvenient times. By the time I manage to get home I’ve forgotten what she was trying to tell me.

But I wouldn’t change it. I love writing. I truly do. And for now at least, I’ll just grab the best opportunities I can to practise my craft.

One day I’ll get that farmhouse. Mind you, I’m sure that naughty writing faery will still wait until I’m with a holistic client before making an appearance ;-P

But here’s the thing; I spend my life feeling exhausted. Sometimes there’s holistic clients and step children to slot in around my hours. I write, re-write, get proof readers, edit, stagger through book cover options, promote with every spare moment. Fine, that’s my choice. But with an increasing number of sites advertising free eBooks, there’s fewer and fewer people willing to pay for all this blood, sweat and tears. It’s not like I’m asking for much; way under what the traditionally published hard copies of yore would’ve done. Just an acknowledgement / a small token of my hard work would be nice. And something which costs nothing; a review once you’re done please.

There are currently around 287,000 romance books in the Kindle book store. If I ever want to climb the rankings I need people to buy my books, but for more people to buy my books they need to know they exist, guess how you can help. Yes, those precious reviews really do help others notice and decide whether or not to buy. So please please do leave reviews for books you’ve read. I personally read every single one, and get thrills of excitement every time. I just love hearing what people think.

And the best thing about the modern way of publishing means that the majority of authors now have some sort of social media presence. You can like fan pages, chat to us etc.

Should you wish to find me, I can be located here:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/TL-Clark/660228924012688

or: https://twitter.com/TLClarkAuthor