As a writer with a blog, it feels wrong not to write a post about this surreal time. Surreal - my most common word lately.
So, shall we talk about the elephant in the room..?
Yep, I'm thinking COVID-19 and lockdown. Hitherto referenced as The Thing Which Shan't Be Named - I'm treating it like Voldemort 😉
But before you run away in horror, my intention is to be more positive in this post.
We have been in what is commonly referred to as lockdown in the UK for 4 weeks now.
Now, like I said, I'm trying to be positive, yet I'm not going to shy away either; it was tough at first!
1) I felt The Fear - it was all big and scary. The media was constantly harping on about it. It felt like the apocalypse had begun; we were all going to die.
The Thing Which Shan't Be Named swept through the world. Country by country was infected - a sort of domino effect.
2) I'm used to my own space and routine, and yet very soon Hubby's work decided as he had to go to London a lot, he was not so much of a key worker after all, and furloughed him. Is it just me or does that sound like he's now a furrowed field?? LOL
3) Our finances took a hit. Hubby has had to take a pay cut so he has a job to go back to. Me? My temp jobs aren't coming in, yet I'm not eligible for the government's assistance. And my book sales nosedived. Ouch!
It was an adjustment, make no mistake.
Firstly, I stopped watching news and daytime tele - I just couldn't handle it. Far too much scaremongering! Plus, we had the UK Chief Medical Officer on our advice adverts - take a look at that link; he made it extra scary!!
And I limit my social media interaction. I'm really sorry if you're feeling neglected by my absence - I'm not commenting as much as usual etc. But there is far too much fear, speculation, blame and anger on there for me to wade through. I try to spot the good bits, but honestly, it's too much for me.
Whilst I'm on that; please, if you have a book release/sale/news you would like me to share, please tag me or message me with a link so I can share it for you (if you're among my online social circle).
Going to the shops (for food) - a simple enough thing, became scary. Everyone was socially distanced and wandering around in a daze, wearing masks. It was like witnessing a scene from a zombie movie!
Then I accepted that we couldn't see the Steps.
Girl had come into contact with someone who came home feeling a little unwell from China. She came to our house feeling a little coldy, and we subsequently had an odd virus; we would intermittently go hot (not necessarily a high fever) and had a bit of a tickly throat. We will never know if this was a mild form of The Thing Which Shan't Be Named (*shrugs*). We got over it. Whatever!
Boy came home (to his mum) from uni with a fever too though.
So, it's been AGES since we saw them.
Girl is about to turn 17, so we're permitted visitation. But as Boy is over 18, he's not on the socially acceptable work-around 😞
I miss them!
Hubby and I gradually found our own space. Finding little moments in the day where we could do our own thing independently became important.
He usually works mega long hours, and then we have his kids here every other weekend and we spend time with his mum etc. It's highly unusual for us to spend so much time alone together in this way.
But, whilst our own space is required, so is quality couple time. So, we also try to do meaningful things together.
Like the rest of The Internet, I distracted myself with baking and cooking.
Baguettes and focaccia were very fine bread projects. Crumpets - not so much - those were actually inedible!?
I have discovered I like dal though! Who knew?? When Hubby next came home from the supermarket (being the designated shopping hero as he copes better than me), he held up a bag of lentils, saying, "I'm not saying I liked what you cooked last night..." - his sheepish grin was priceless! Needless to say, I've made it several times since.
Now, that is all very yummy 'n all, but when added to our increased snacks (also because of Stress and Boredom), our tummies were expanding a little bit too far (not fat shaming, just practically, it's unwise to expand further than one's current wardrobe permits as clothing-trying-on is not available right now).
So, we've tried increasing our jogging jaunts. Although, one day in particular, I ended up a watery mess as my hay fever (allergies) kicked in big time, and we limped home within 15mins! Oops!
There's only so many times you can stand the limited space to run around here; too many People, for a start.
It was therefore a joy - and I mean that in the deepest sense of the word - to go a bit further last week, to one of my favourite places for such activity. I was even rewarded with a plethora of bluebells in the woods 💜
And Hubby even joined me for a Pilates session one day.
Other distractions have included us learning BSL (British Sign Language), reading (of course) and me picking up my cross stitch for the eleventy-billionth time (it's taken me YEARS to get this far on this project!).
We've been trying to zhush up the garden a little too. I have a lemon plant growing from seed. The path is now weeded (thank you Hubby). And we're about to plant some vegetable seeds.
Our rhododendron is flowering in all its pink glory.
My azalea (which inspired a character in my book, Love Bites), is also blooming, sending its scent wafting across my garden. Yum!
Every Thursday evening at 20:00 we go onto our driveway, our neighbours doing likewise (whilst maintaining social distance), and clap for the NHS / carers. There's a terrific sense of community.
I was so moved after the first incident that I wrote a Facebook post on it. It was very emotional!
Oh, and I recorded several book readings. All are on my IGTV and I've started loading them onto my YouTube (but it's a bit of a faff, so it's taking a while).
And, of course, there's been book editing to do - my latest novel is almost ready! It's super hard to concentrate right now though, so is taking a little longer. Thank you for your patience.
But don't let all this talk of activity fool you. The vast majority of the time, we may be found sitting in front of our TV, watching Netflix or Disney+ (which arrived in the nick of time!). Hence the snacking.
I'm busy doing nothing!?
There have been days I've not changed out of my pyjamas; trust me. At times, I have wondered why I bother getting out of bed at all.
I get bored/frustrated/scared/tired like everyone else. We're all experiencing a lot of emotions. And that's OK.
All this is just my experience. I fully appreciate how lucky I am.
There are people not able to see their partners. Parents with young children requiring constant attention and education. People all alone. Vulnerable people feeling frightened. Others are going out to work, scared of coming into contact with The Thing Which Shan't Be Named. The thing is, we all have our own stresses. There's not a single person unaffected in some way.
This is a global pandemic - it's oddly uniting humanity in that we're all battling against this unusual foe. We're all in this together!
I have misophonia (a very odd, severely angry reaction to certain sounds). It gets worse when my sinuses are inflamed, oh, like when hay fever pipes up!?
Yeah, so, I got triggered the other morning, and went scurrying to the safety of my bed, under my duvet. A bit of a meltdown ensued. There may have been tears!
However, eventually, I remembered to breathe! Funny how we forget that simple thing occasionally!? Anyway, I took deep, healing breaths and focussed on grounding (a holistic technique thingy). I felt more calm than I had in ages afterwards!
And that's it, isn't it?
We can all feel panicked and overwhelmed, especially at the moment.
But THIS TOO SHALL PASS (one of my life mantras).
Just remember to breathe!
Self-love is more important than ever. Just do what you need to do to get through each day.
We will come through this together yet apart 💗
Keep on keeping on, my lovely.
Good things are happening too. Pollution has gone way down. Apparently, there were dolphins swimming around Venice! Our beloved planet is taking a deep, cleansing breath too.
We are finally realising the importance of those key workers - the people who are often so poorly paid. Thank you so so much if you're one of the ones still going out, keeping this country running; there are so many working behind the scenes who don't get noticed as well as those the media spotlight's shining on.
Always in love and light,
TL
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