JOURNAL - The Fat Girl's Guide to Loving Your Body - entry 5

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Entry 5 - Letter to the Haters - or is it?

I am not Christian but was brought up with teachings from that religion. And one phrase has stuck with me, one which is echoed through many other religions...

"Judge not, that ye may be not judged."

Others thoughts, such as we dislike in others most what we dislike in ourselves spring to mind. 

None of us are 100% certain what happens when we die, but what if we do stand in a Day of Judgement? And what if God, in whatever form, judges us as we have judged others? 
Can you say that judgement would be fair and just? Or would it be a little harsh? 

I could rant about how others have found fault in me but what's the point? 
Yes, I have plenty of faults and I am aware of them. But I do not always agree with the findings of others. Then I get angry at them. 
But why? My anger will do nothing to them and may well hurt me.
Besides, it says a lot about their own sad little lives that they feel the need to sit in judge others before taking a good, hard look at themselves. 

I am still my own harshest critic. Whatever anyone else says it won't be as bad as what I tell myself!
This has been highlighted the past couple of weeks. I have been working as a temp. It's a place I've been working for a lengthy period, and they now have higher expectations of my work. These expectations are not realistic as is. I found it frustrating. And I was upset by their harsh words. But the worst part was my own self-recrimination. 
I felt like a failure and chastised myself despite knowing full well I had not received thorough instruction. I am not a mind-reader! Yet, that voice was still in my head, whispering, "See, you're not good enough." 

One can only let others upset you if you allow them. 
A strong sense of self-worth is required, more so now in this digital age than ever. 
KNOW this...

"You are enough." 

 Goodness help me if I am judged on the standards I set myself!?

My own self-love journey has made considerable headway. 90% of the time I have that self-belief that I am doing my best and that's just grand.
However, I still wobble, particularly when tired. And this week I reached actual exhaustion - oops!
Guess what happens when you're exhausted. Yep, you actually do make silly mistakes. And then you start clobbering yourself over the head more - vicious circle here! (*smacks head*)

These days, I can even say I literally wrote the book on self-love but that curiously adds pressure.
I have never declared myself "cured" and will always tell you I'm a work in progress. But having written that book, that niggly little inner-critic now says I should be an expert and be better. Pah!
I am as good as I can be and that is enough.

The people who comment - they're not always doing so out of spite. Often, they think they're showing concern and are just a bit misguided.
Forgive them. And forgive yourself.
After all, I bet they have plenty of faults themselves.

(psst...this includes towards yourself!)

The Prayer of St Francis hymn always struck my soul deeply. Even as a child, it would often bring tears to my eyes. "Make me a channel of your peace (& love)"
Buddhist teachings have also requested us to act with love first. Be compassionate.
It's good advice.

Believe in yourself so much that the words of others cannot harm you. Then they can say whatever they want - pooh to them with knobs on! Who cares what they think?
At least, that's my aim.

Isn't that why I'm reading KL's book? To learn how to improve my self-love?
Is that not why I wrote my own novel?
Sure is. Who's with me?

So, give yourself a hug - yes, actually!
And carry on with your day.


Always in love and light,
TL
(sending you an extra virtual hug)